Cookies & Cream Cocopops

We'll just cover two things quickly and that's 1) if you believe this is a nutritional breakfast choice you are not healthy (#staywoke) and 2) Coco pops are delicious. 

Coco Pops (or, Cocoa Krispies, as autocorrected to when you search on Google for reasons unknown) are basically delicious and very much something you eat after dinner for a fun snack or dessert, rather than first thing in the mornings. Furthermore, if you've ever tried Coco Pops Chex you will know they are the ultimate trash food and a solid 10000000/10, so it seemed natural that these would be a great new advance on a favourite. OR WERE THEY?

Coco Pops Chex are a chocolatey variation on Crispix, the ultimate cereal, so by logic, the household were hoping that this flavour would be a good progression from Chex to Chex Cookies & Cream. Basically this is just like the normal Chex with a few (and very few) pieces covered in white chocolate.

This is a bit of a problem since when you pour milk on top, the taste is kind hard to distinguish, and you're stuck feeling the texture without reaping the benefit of the flavour. It's almost like a hardened yoghurt around a piece which feels a little funny when you're eating it since the texture is slippery . Of course for research purposes I picked out a handful and tried them without milk and they were pretty tasty, but the point is to eat with milk so I can't say it was resounding success.

That's not to say that this product isn't still delicious - the milk becomes super chocolatey (not like a milkshake though, the most EGREGIOUS CLAIM in food history), and the chex seem to melt in your mouth and are insanely moreish. It's just that the novelty of this edition is a bit non-existent.

We had high hopes, but it's best to stick with regular Chex, or better yet, fruit for breakfast if you want a sweet hit in the morning.

Flavour Rating: 4 out of 5
Worth Trying?: No - get regular Chex instead.

Triple Choc Mars, Max Choc Snickers & Triple Flavour Kit Kat

Boy HOWDY I was getting nervous when I hadn't tried a new zany flavour from Nestlé/Mars in a while, when luckily on my visit to Coles I found not one, not two, but THREE new delightful* variants of well-loved chocolate bars! I was starving to death after a day of normal people food so I abandoned any sensible pre-dinner  plans and went ALL OUT and ate all three. 

The first on our selection is the Snickers variation, MAX CHOC. It's basically a normal Snicker, but the bits that used to be brown are MAXIMUM BROWN. The nougat is now 'chocolate' flavoured (thank god) and the caramel is also 'chocolate' flavoured (thank god??). It's so brown in shade now Sonia Krugar has allegedly called for the boarders to be closed. It tastes almost identical to a normal Snickers - the dark chocolate I guess would be about 40% (I threw it away from boredom so I'm not sure), so it's very inoffensive. Perfect if you've feeling a little on the DANGEROUS SIDE but you're still beige as hell.

Which brings me to the next groundbreaking offering - the Triple CHOC Mars bar. This absolutely tastes like a regular Mars bar. No further comment.

The last bizarre offering is the Triple Flavoured Kit Kat. I like to imagine Nestle is run by a school of Tuna fish - you know, the fish that keep swimming in new directions otherwise they die? I think my dream is actually becoming a reality since it seems me like no one at Nestlé has any idea what they're doing with Kit Kats. We had the disastrous '3 textures' series for a mercifully short while before it was replaced with a caramel variety that claimed to he something along the lines of 'everyone's favourite part' (read: it was the most normal). Now we're bestowed with this bizarre chocolate bar that has three different flavours - one for each piece. Who has ACTUALLY ever craved three variants of one thing at once? 

Also, this is billed as another 'favourite' thing - who is on this favourites panel and WHY am I not on there to scream at anyone who proposes these things? Frankly the best flavour was Kit Kat Cookie Dough, which was discontinued years ago (RIP The Golden Age of Kit Kats) so this was all really a waste of time anyway.

All these bars were STUPID and UNNECESSARY.

*STUPID and UNNECESSARY

Flavour Rating: 3 out of 5
Worth Trying?: ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Pie Mate Maximus

Think of the most delicious drink flavour you can think of - was it tomato sauce? No? Oh, weird. The Maximus team were SO sure you'd be all for it, so they developed a flavour which is supposed to perfectly compliment your pie-slathered-with-tomato-sauce lunch.

All of a sudden, much like the 'Message Seen' function on Facebook, the product that no one wanted took its proud place on our shelves.

MMMM only good things will come of this.

This could go one of two ways, everyone! Do you think it's going to be:

A) Deliciously fresh and thirst quenching, bursting with the ambrosia of natural flavours

OR

B) Horrible

(Spoilers! it's B) Horrible)

When I was younger and if we went our to dinner, my siblings and I usually got bored with the icecream desert, so we'd mix in salt, sugar, pepper, water, and various other scraps on the table and then dare each other to drink it. Pie Mate Maximus tastes like a Frankenstein's monster - horribly sweet with a tang of tomato and a plentiful dash of regret.

The drink is a self proclaimed '1 litre goblet of hydration' which gives your gag reflex such a spasm when you drink a mouthful it could be considered an exorcism. The Pie Mate beverage amusingly has no trace of tomato in its ingredients (GASP), although I love the commitment to wacky flavours. I've literally never tried anything like it, and if you have the chance you simply must take a gulp.

The label recommends you "Bite. Your Pie // Swig. Maximus // Repeart. Until finished" and regrettably I couldn't comply as I had no pie. I feel like MAYBE I've missed the recommended experience of this drink so perhaps I am seriously missing out. 

But then again, I'm probably not.

KICKSHAW FLAVOUR RATING
1 out of 5

SHOULD YOU TRY?
Yes!